Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Truth Hurts

When life seems to be rolling along at a manageable clip, why does the universe feel it necessary to toss in a little something “special” to remind you that you may not be in control of things? I mean, my life the past few years has definitely not been ideal. Employment has been scattered, living situation has been crowded, social life has been uneventful. But it has been manageable, and it has been somewhat comfortable. I’ve been making plans, working hard toward my goals, envisioning what my life is to become. And lately, my hard work and detailed plans have been materializing before my eyes. Right now, distractions are the last thing I need! But true to form in the complicated web that is my life, I can faintly see another path becoming visible in the distance. Let’s see how the universe handles this one!

Now on to Kensie.

So K has hit the terrible threes head on. She never really had issues in her “terrible twos.” Though many people say the twos can be the worst toddler age, that was just not our experience. But boy, when Kensie turned three this month, it was like a lightning bolt struck the earth, and from the ashes arose a kid who seems to know that I am required to love and take care of her despite anything she might say or do. “Ta-da! Hi Mommy, meet the real Makensie Rain!”

Kensie’s appearance has seemingly changed overnight! Her golden blonde hair is down to her bottom and curly at the ends. Her skin is showing a bit of an olive tone (yay, she won’t melt in the sun like her poor, pasty, red-headed mommy!). She’s sure to become a sun goddess in her teens with that skin. Her legs are taking shape and becoming long and lean (she’s got the Johnson legs!). Her belly, once a poochy gut full of milk and mashed-up avocado, is starting to streamline. Her face is no longer chunky and round but has an almost mature look to it. I’m pretty sure this kid was meant to be my cousin AJ’s, not mine!

K’s personality has changed quite a bit, as well. She loves clothes! I see a fashionista-in-the-making already (again, AJ’s kid). She has to pick out her own outfit every day, but not just that: It must be chosen and on her back by 6 a.m.! Food has become an afterthought: If I can get K to eat a scrap other than her gummy vitamin before noon, call me mother of the year! Her Pa used to pick on her constantly, but now she picks on Pa! Preschool is a little bit scary but gets easier every day. Water rocks her world. Cartoons have become nothing more than background noise (well, other than Enchanted, of course). Books are the best thing since sliced bread!

My little girl is no longer a little girl. When I look at Makensie and see what she’s become in such a short period in my life, I can almost visualize the amazing adventure we have in store. Dance and softball like I loved as a kid. Possibly swimming, which also runs in her blood. School dances, silly crushes, Sweet 16, driving, dating. And in the back of my mind, all I can hear is my mother’s faint voice getting louder and louder and louder and louder: Payback is hell . . . Payback is hell . . . Payback is hell . . . PAY. BACK. IS. HELL!!!!!!