Friday, November 8, 2013

My Heart, My Soul, My Daddy

It would be easy to explain how hard this past year has been on my family, but right now, none of that even matters. This last year was so much harder on my beautiful daddy. What really matters now is that he is no longer in pain.

The hard part now is that he is no longer here to guide me, to make fun of me, to laugh with me, to wipe my tears, to hold my hand, to kiss my daughter, to support my good and bad decisions, to need me, to tell me he loves me, to just listen. I will no longer be able to call him when I'm frustrated, or sad, or scared, or pissed, or excited. I'll never again hear him tell me to calm down, to be rational, to stop worrying, to think about it this way, to try to understand, to remember he's seen a lot more of life than I have. My life is simply changed forever, a part of my heart ripped from me and scattered to the wind. I'm not quite sure how to move forward, but I know he would tell me that I have to. He would tell me to pick myself up off the ground, dust myself off, and move on. So Daddy, for you, I will do my best to move forward without you. It will be hard, but I will love you forever and pray that I will see you again someday. Rest in peace.

(The following obituary will be published on Sunday, Nov. 10, 2013, in The Oklahoman, the Birmingham NewsThe Newkirk Herald Journal, and the Lawrence Journal-World. It's hard to condense the life of such a wonderful person into so few words, but I did my best to show who he was and what he loved.)

Fred Lee Trenary

Fred Trenary (Freddie Lee), born Nov. 5, 1938, in Blackwell, Oklahoma, died Nov. 1, 2013, in Lawrence, Kansas, with his family surrounding him. He is survived by his wife, JoAnn Johnson Trenary; his son, Glenn Martin, and wife, Kelli Martin; his daughter, Tara Trenary; his grandchildren, Alexandra Martin, Makensie Trenary, and Bryce Martin; his sister, Judy McGlasson; his brother-in-law, Bill Johnson, and wife, Fran Johnson; his sister-in-law, Gina Trenary Hopper; his nephews, Jeff Morrow, Ralph Trenary, and Scott Johnson; his nieces, Jill Lane, Ann Johnson Czerwinski, and Teresa Trenary; and his dog, Chloe. His parents, Ralph Trenary and Hazel Trenary Woods, his brother, Ronald Trenary, and his nephew, Jay McGlasson, preceded him in death.

An avid sportsman from a young age, Fred was a running back on the Oklahoma 1955 All-State team and led Newkirk High School in rushing and touchdowns that year. In 1961, he was named to the All-Oklahoma Collegiate Conference Team on the defense while playing at Central State University (now the University of Central Oklahoma). Before attending Central State and earning a degree in education, Fred attended and played football at both the University of Kansas and Oklahoma State University. In 2007, he was named the best player in Newkirk High School history by The Oklahoman.

Husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, coach, and friend, Fred dedicated his early life to his family, his students and his athletes. He spent 11 years teaching history and coaching high school football and golf at Edmond High School (now Edmond Memorial High School). With 65 victories as Edmond’s football coach and 9-1-1 teams in both 1968 and 1970, he earned high marks as an exemplary high school football coach.

After taking a sales job with Fram Corporation and moving his family to Birmingham, Alabama, Fred became active in his new community, coaching his son and daughter’s baseball and softball teams from early in their lives and touching so many other young lives in the process. He was a father figure to all of his children’s friends and always a go-to guy when someone needed help. Fred was happiest at home grilling steaks, watching college football and basketball, and spending time with his family, his friends, and his dogs.

A Celebration of Life will be held from 4 to 8 p.m. on Saturday, Nov. 23, 2013, at Alvamar Golf and Country Club, in Lawrence, Kansas. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to Visiting Nurses of Lawrence, a not-for-profit hospice organization in Lawrence, Kansas.